I’m taking a day off. It’s really the first day since school started that I have decided to not go to work for a reason other than illness (and I battled a couple of real doozies during the winter including pneumonia). It’s a great time to do so – this week was a school holiday and we have no home sporting events today (Friday) or tomorrow. It’s a “first” this year and will be last until the school year ends.
I can’t really say that I would call this first April in Vermont a “spring”. On Wednesday, we had snow flurries during a girls lacrosse game; on the flip side yesterday was in the 50s for our baseball and softball games. If any of you call the weather where you live “inconsistent”, please come to Vermont for the real example of extreme weather changes. Truthfully, I’m well past “over it” when it comes to wearing heavy clothes!
I’m going to use the day to do what most folks get to do weekly (or even more frequently): cook a meal, clean the house and take recycling to the dump. I haven’t had time to do even the basics for months. I’m looking forward to THREE days of relative rest.
About 10 days ago, I was able to reconnect with my college coach, Coach Williams. Aside from my father, there has been no man that has taught me and molded me into the person I am. The voices of my dad and Coach have been my signposts and lighthouses. I lost contact with him during Covid and have literally tried for several years to track him down. When I called him, I literally wept with joy after hearing his voice. For a few days after, I felt remorse after having not been in closer contact and spent some time harboring regret and sadness (and a good dose of self flagellation over lost time with him).
One morning this week while reading Old Path, White Clouds by Thich Nhat Hahn, this passage jumped off the page and struck me in the heart:
“Lord, I do suffer from worries and regrets.”
“I hope your regrets are not about violating your precepts.”
“No, Lord, I have observed my precepts fully and feel no shame.”
“What then do you worry about and regret?”
“I regret that, due to my illness, it has been a long time since I have been able to visit you.”
The Buddha gently scolded, “Vakkali, do not worry about such things. You have lived a blameless life. That is what keeps teacher and student close. Do you think you need to see my face in order to see the Buddha? This body is not important. Only the teaching is important. If you can see the teaching, you can see the Buddha. If you can see this body but not the teaching, it is of no value at all.”
Excerpt From
Old Path White Clouds: Walking in the Footsteps of the Buddha
Thich Nhat Hanh
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Coach Williams was my greatest teacher ever. Every word I speak, reflects both him and my parents. If you know me, I suspect you “know” Coach Williams. Reading this lifted a weight from me – the burden of regret and guilt for having lost some time of regular communication. It has allowed to not be focussed on the “what ifs” or “should haves” with regards to my relationship with my coach/mentor.
So as I begin my long weekend of relative rest, I have a to-do list of things to accomplish. I am happy to say that on that list is a call to Coach. I hope to make that a regular and on-going practice. I will enjoy every chat with him, I am certain. But more importantly, I feel his impact on me every time I take a breath.
Until next time.
coachengle 